


When you feel that Fire, think of it as my Desire.

by Professionaldarling



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Azula is mentioned, Can be read as there being implied Suki/Reader subtext? but it’s very very faint), F/M, Fire Lord Zuko (Avatar), I have so many headcanons, I really said, I should really write gen fic, I want ya'll to know there a Azula and Darling parallels here, Minor Sokka/Suki, Oh, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Worldbuilding, Yandere, Yandere Zuko, Zuko is a yandere here, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, albeit soft and sweet for the most part, and I am sad, being degenerate, but here i am, hadestown lyrics are free real estate, i cannot get into the Azula and darling parallels because Azula is not here, in my yandere fic, so Katara cockblocks my self projecting getting to hug suki, so i project on darling and really like suki, very faint but there.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:35:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26444281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Professionaldarling/pseuds/Professionaldarling
Summary: You've been living with Zuko for five years after the war now. You've gotten used to it.
Relationships: Zuko (Avatar) & Reader, Zuko (Avatar)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. ain't no difference anymore (winter nigh, summer o'er)

Zuko leaves you with a candle for the night. It’s the one night you’ve been left alone in four, maybe five years. He claims it’s something about how he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself tonight. It wasn't like he hadn’t touched you before. (But he hadn’t blushed like he did earlier that night when he lit your candle.) You watch the candle flicker from across the room, bright and piercing. You haven’t gotten too close to it. It swirls with little flickers of pink and blue against a healthy orange and is probably hot enough to burn if you get too close. You’ve been sitting since he closed your door, and your forehead hasn’t stopped tingling from where he kissed you.  _ You hate him _ .  _ You love him _ . But you don’t want to be here, in this room alone with fire. You’d rather be anywhere but near his fire. You’d rather be anywhere than with him.  _ But who doesn’t want to be with the man who protects them — who loves them. _ Your grip on your wrist is tight and you hadn’t even noticed that your nails had begun to dig into your palm. In your hand a warm piece of metal sits. You’ve been turning it over since Zuko told you he had a present for you. You’d been getting the same present for years and you’d _ accepted _ . The gold hairpin with red tassels taunts you from your hand. 

“Tomorrow.” A suspiciously raspy voice, coated in a regal gold echoing in your two, unmarred ears. And you sat. And sat and sat. And your nails began to dig further and further into flesh. Slowly the hairpin’s tassels, though red, were stained. The golden pin clatters to the ground, leaving your palm and mind for one second before you realize that you can feel silk on your foot. Your hands dart to the arms of your chair.  _ Move move move. _ And your arms sit on top of wood that was carved a decade ago. It’s awkward and uncomfortable and cold. It’s nothing familiar. But you’d almost forgotten what anything but Zuko feels like and slowly, you sink into the wood. Something inside you misses the heat that emits from the other side of your bed, whispers that he warms your heart. Something a little larger than yourself screams that he’s burned you. And before you continue to think your feet push yourself out of the chair, the silk tassel falling off of your foot as the hairpin rattles on the marble floor.  _ He’s burned you, he'll do it again.  _ Your mind argues with your body before your hands make the decision to stop gripping the red fabric that Zuko insisted you dressed in. Burgundy silk shifts as you begin to walk past the flame that flickers in purples and greens, flecks of red shifting behind a screen of glass. You pick it up, the warmth through the glass so uncomfortably familiar that you can’t help but grip it a little tighter. The candle burns a little brighter. You suck in a breath. You shakily exhale. Holding the candle makes so much more of the room visible, it’s made of metal, almost prison like.  _ You didn’t want to be here. You remember the boiling rock story, sneak out through a blind spot and make for a war balloon.  _ The window wasn’t hard to find with your light source, your reflection on the glass isn’t correct, something is missing.  _ Your topknot.  _ You can fix that (No you can’t) when you’re on a war balloon. You open your window, letting the breeze blow in. The gossamer curtains flutter at the contact as you lift a leg to put through the open window. You shiver in the night, exposed to the silver sky and cold stars of spirits. The moon is new tonight, she favors invisibility for the night. Your foot touches soft grass as you straddle the open window and ungratefully almost drop your candle. Your breathing darkens for a bit before softening and looking frantically at your surroundings. The flame in your hands gets a little warmer as you slowly start to slide along the grass of what you recognize to be the gardens. 

Your foot hits something small and fuzzy and your breath hitches as you hear an agitated “Quack” Your gaze shifts down as you lock eyes with the beady black eyes of a baby turtleduck. It’s mother wakes immediately, gives you one look and bites your ankle with ferocity. Once again you almost drop your guide. You bite your tongue to keep from crying out in pain. You don’t move, and you taste iron in your mouth before the mother turtleduck slowly releases it’s bill from your heel. And the candle grows a little warmer as you move away from the pond. You’d been this way before once. Through the gate, over a small bridge and up stairs that you hadn’t been allowed to climb on your own. They’re exhausting now, and if it weren't for the flame in your hands - yellow and purple with an edge of turquoise - you might feel the ice that isn’t in your blood. 

You stand on a flattened platform that used to have airships tethered to its ground. Now it has what you hear Zuko call dirigibles docked at the ledge. You scan the area for one of the smaller balloons. The ones that are white and no longer have an insignia that was branded into the retinas of all who saw it. 

_ \-- _

_ Zuko looks down at you, sitting in the basket of a war balloon, he frowns as he hoists himself over the railing. You stand as he gets in and smile. An instinct that had been burned into you is telling you to touch his shoulder. So you make you way over to his side. His gaze doesn't even meet yours. A heart you forgot could beat starts to pound as you look at him.  _

_ “Are you-” _

_ “Yeah.” It's gruff, a little crackly as he speaks. “We need to leave.” _

_ “Okay,” And you don’t press any further. He’ll tell you when he wants and you’ll listen. You don’t have a choice. You place your palm on his back and you can feel his breath deepen. _

_ “Fire bending comes from the breath, right?” You’d heard it once. On a day you wish was easy to forget.  _

_ “That’s what Uncle always said.” If he’d let you go, you might not be here today. But you might not be anywhere if he let you go. _

_ “Then breathe Zuko,” You let your palm linger until Zuko turns, maybe an hour after you’ve been in the sky. _

_ “Your topknot has fallen out, let me redo it for you.” He gives you a smile. You’re glad to see it. It’s always better when he’s happy.  _

_ “Thank you.” You kneel down in the basket. You hear one more puff of flame before he bends down and runs his fingers through your hair. The almost moan you let out might’ve been intentional, and Zuko’s hands rush with a slight heat. They still in your hair for only a second before continuing to comb through.  _

_ “You sound nice like that.” It’s painfully obvious he’s trying to make it sound like an offhand comment as he gathers your hair to bring on top of your head. You give no response as he wraps a silk around your hair. His hands stay for a little longer and he drags his nails along your scalp. Another, less intentional moan falls from your lips and Zuko’s grip tightens before he immediately pulls away, and turns back to the furnace keeping the war balloon afloat. _

_ “Thank you for putting my hair up.” You’re sure your cheeks flush a little as you look at Zuko. (You had to pinch them)  _

_ “I’ll make you a hairpin when we land.” _

_ “Please?” It may have been a learned response from the other times he’s tried to gift you pins to put into your hair, but it feels moonspun with the lightning in his voice. Zuko rubs a thumb over your cheekbone before leaning in to breathe, _

_ “Of course my love.” His cheeks are red and his thumb contains the same heat that his hand had earlier. He pulls you taut against his chest and doesn’t let go until you feel the balloon start to sink. _

_ \-- _

You knew you’d have to get rid of your guiding flame. The one you're sure that Zuko left to ensure your safety.  _ Ensure your incineration. _ The question is, how? Are you to smash it against the stone of the platform? Wouldn’t that catch the baskets on fire, or worse wouldn’t that  _ burn you? _ Was that what Zuko wanted to do? Did he want to burn you? He wanted to keep you safe, that's what he always said, but he’d burned you before.  _ He said it was an accident.  _ But it didn’t change the fact you were burned. Fire benders will always burn when they can. Why should Zuko be any different?  _ He loves you.  _ If he loved you he wouldn’t have burned you.  _ But he gives you food, he does your hair, he gives you clothes. He protects you.  _ He yells and he burns.  _ He ended the war. _

Your voice is hoarse before you even hear the screaming. The glass breaks before the swirls of green and yellow and blue flare to swarm your vision with color. The smell of smoke invades your nostrils and you feel tears fall down your cheeks. Breath escapes you as you try to remember all the times you’ve been told to “Breathe.” the only voice you can conjure is a soft crackle that whispers into your ear - people shout, whistle and yell. Balloons start to depart from the platform around you a cacophony of movement clashes and, somehow your body manages not to expel anything you might’ve eaten. None of the voices that scream are telling you to just “breathe” and they only shriek and yell and you can’t see anything but fire- and your wrist burns and the pressure on the small of your back tells you you’re being held - he’s burned through your silk again. You’re wailing all over again and you hear the words but they aren’t soft or in your ear,  _ he’s angry _ . Everyone can hear what he’s saying you can’t fucking think other than you wish he’d stop stop stop the fire. He’s carrying you down the stairs and you know exactly what room you’re going to and you know that you’re finally going to see why he was a part of this family. He’s going to burn and burn and burn and you  _ can’t fucking breathe _ . He’s yelling — screaming at guards who aren’t at fault but you can’t hear anything they say, only that he’s mad and it’s  _ your fault _ . He sits you down in the room, you don’t think he knows you're crying and you probably deserve whatever he’s going to do, you shouldn’t run, you shouldn’t run. He burns a chair first. 

“I can’t believe that you’d try to run away!” He sounds angry, he's screaming and it’s at you and you can’t stop it. Old scrolls next. 

“From me,” he spits fire from his mouth, smoke curling from his lips. “I love you! Don’t you know that? I. Love. You.” He’s looking at you and there’s a flame burning in his hand and he has nothing in his hand but fire and he’s going to burn you like his family burned him. “You’re mine.” Red-blue fire dances on his fingers as a banner starts to ignite. An angry red scar is all you can see amidst the flames.

“Please, Zuko,” Smoke billows from his mouth and tears continue to drop as you struggle to think of anything but fire. “I-I,” 

“You what?” His lips curl into a sneer and you don’t know what the fuck you can do to stay alive.

“I, l-” you choke on a sob. You can’t stop crying. And suddenly a darkness that had settled into his eyes clears. He drops to his knees and extinguishes all flames. The smell of smoke is still in the air.

“I made you cry.” It’s right by your ear, but his voice is so distant. The croaking of frogs no longer exists in this world of fire and one old room and _Zuko_. “ _I_ made you cry.” His voice growls. And you cry some more.

“I’m sorry.” He walks a little closer to you, kneels. “I’m sorry.” And you take a gasp of breath and another tear falls. “I never meant to hurt you.” He’s bowing and you can’t help but feel that you are in the wrong. You should be on your knees and your palms should be touching the floor. 

“I’m s-sorry.” You choke it out of your throat and taste blood. 

“I scared you,” His hair is touching the floor as his head tilts to look up at you. “You shouldn’t be sorry.” 

“N-” you bit your lip. “No, I shouldn’t have taken your kindness and thrown it.” And he stretches out his hand. 

“No, you shouldn’t have to forgive me,”

“I’ll always forgive you.” The truth tastes bitter on your tongue. “Please,” another tear forces its way out. “Please, I’ll do anything if you forgive me.” Anything so that he’ll never be angry again. Your head is filled with a haze of smoke that smells more like thin rage than fire. You nod profusely. 

“I forgive you.” He looks deep into your eyes and liquid gold drips down his face. “We’ll move our ceremony to the day after tomorrow? I want it to be the happiest day of our life.” He tries to crack one of his smiles. You really love his smile. 

“Y-yeah.” You nod, still crying. “I’d like that Zuko.” And you lean forward a little, positioning yourself a little closer. “Can you carry me to our room, p-please?” 

“Of course.” His head gives a curt nod before he stands up slowly. A miserable laugh escapes you, as more water drains from your body. He gently reaches out his arms for you to fall into before he arranges your body to carry.

“Thank you Zuko.” And you close your eyes softly as he kisses your temple. 

“I love you,” You’re too tired to think. Too tired to even catch the tightening of his fingers as he carries you. The narrowing of his eyes as you forget those words that he  _ needs _ to hear from your voice. Sobs from your lips come a little more quietly as you burrow your head into his chest which rises and falls with practiced breath. The rhythm of his heartbeat — though irregular — is comforting and slowly, you start to feel yourself calm down. You pass through a gate, and then another.

“Open this door.” It’s the voice you hear when he makes you sit in on meetings, before he adds in a much more familiar tone, “Please?” 

“Of course Fire Lord.” The guard sounds urgent. Who wouldn’t after hearing him yell and burn and burn and burn. 

“Are you alright?” He’s still holding you, but you can feel his body sink into your shared mattress. You just press your face further into his chest. He’s heating up. “I’ll put on a pot of tea.” He begins to set you down on the bed, fluffing a pillow under your head. “Tea is best when you drink it with another. Or, so Uncle always says.” He’s trying to make you laugh, with his impression of Iroh. “Oh! He told me a tea joke recently, it was about a man named Jin who uhh. Sang?” You snort a little at that. “There was another one, about uhh.” He trails off, snapping a little spark to life under his kettle. 

“You can’t remember it?” The pillow which held your head was soft, maybe made of turtleduck feathers.

“No, but believe me - I've chaid.” He lets out a small chuckle himself and you can’t help but to return it, even on impulse. The room sits, steeped in the smell of jasmine tea and woodfire. Though comfortable, something about the silence makes your brain itch.

“A turtleduck bit me tonight.” Your hands feel empty without Zuko there. “I think I kicked a baby.” 

“I always used to apologize to the turtleducks when I was a kid.” You can hear his smile. “Especially if Azula threw something at them.” The ceiling has very little to smile about, but your lips curl into an unfamiliar shape, one that didn’t feel forced. You heave a sigh. 

“Yeah.” You don’t want to smile. 

“Yeah,” You hear the pouring of water and the clink of porcelain. A few seconds and Zuko is sitting beside you on the mattress and handing you an intricately carved cup. He waits for you to sit up before grinning at you and taking a small sip. You hold the cup, it’s much too hot to hold and you place it down on the sheets. 

“Is it too hot?” His eyebrow lifts in worry. “I can cool it off for you, er uh, probably.” 

“No - thank you, I think I should just go to sleep.” Before you even finish your sentence Zuko is opening his mouth. He meets your gaze for a few seconds before closing it. 

“You’ve had a stressful night.” Zuko flinches slightly before taking your hand in his and picking up your cup. He places it on a bedside table before kissing your forehead. “You should sleep.” He takes a deeper drink from his cup before placing it next to yours and running a hand through your hair. Breath catches in your throat before thinning slightly. The hand running through your hair drags over your body to find your stomach, briefly lingering on your collarbone before pushing on your stomach in an attempt to make you lie down. You ignore how warm his hand has gotten and how you’re sure your sleep clothes are ruined from the unintentional burning Zuko has caused. Slowly, gently you close your eyes and ignore the lingering smell of smoke.

“Day after tomorrow,” Zuko whispers incredulously before moving off the bed, grabbing something and lying down next to you. He’s ever so gentle when he pulls you into his side. A minute passes. Two minutes. Three minutes turn to four as a stillness lingers in the air. Zuko’s fingers tap against your arm.

“I can’t sleep, we shouldn’t even be in the same room.” He’s laughing again and you’re not sure how you put him in such a good mood. “I don’t even deserve you. No one does.” 

The comfortable heat at your side makes you turn to sling an arm around him. “Shit.” He hisses out the words and fear runs through your blood until Zuko puts a calloused hand on top of yours. “I can’t sleep when you’re next to me.” The urge to apologize manifests itself quickly and you almost pull your hand away before realizing that he thinks you are asleep and forcibly stop yourself. “I just can’t imagine what it’ll be like waking up next to you in a couple of days, it’ll be so different.” The mattress shifts as Zuko turns on his side.

“Uncle really likes you.” Warmth leaves your side briefly before returning on your stomach. “I’m so glad he does, I don’t think I could go on in life if you weren’t here by my side.” He punctuates with as much of a romantic sigh as Zuko could muster. You try to hold him a little tighter. He laughs a little and the sound helps lull you into an uncomfortable sleep. 

  
  



	2. of my husband comin' forth (bring me home)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> second chapter ya'lllllll i   
> hate this the more that i look at it but yknow what up it goes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i start to hate this more as i look over it but then i reread the whole thing and i think it makes sense? who knowsssss

You dream about the small things, like how the Fire Lord’s fire changes color, or how the Fire Lord could easily burn you if you forgot to hold onto his shoulder. You dream about Zuko letting you out of his sight for more than one night and how maybe he’d learn to manage his anger. You dream about not loving him, and dooming the world with only Azula to take the place as Fire Lord. You dream of being someone else.

You wake to find yourself alone in the bed. Silk sheets feel cold and frantically you sit up to find that yes, you are quite alone. You’re greeted with a numb head as you look at the empty spot on your bed, surely Zuko would’ve taken the day off. But then you wonder if the reason that Zuko isn’t there is because he left. If he left, then you can leave, it’d be so simple if Zuko wasn’t there to stop you, so you approach the clothing a servant had prepared for you today. You begin to drape the silk around your body, and start to look in the mirror. You still had difficulty tying the sash of your clothing. Your body looks different in the mirror and you hope that you’ve become a palace worker. You drag your gaze further up the mirror, a dull pounding of dread filling your head as you start to see familiar, black hair, defined cheekbones. Honey golden eyes. A scar on the left side of your face. 

You dream you are Zuko.

You scream.

You burn.

The ache in your head is his, you have left him and you cannot find yourself. Some deeper part that you don’t know is him or you, is relieved. The room is burning as Zuko’s hands finish tying the sash.  _ Even in your dreams he is still with you _ . 

\--

You wake up and Zuko is shaking you gently from his side of the bed. He’s lost a shirt during the night.

“Hey, wake up,” Your eyes shudder open before closing again. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” You yawn. “I’m fine Zuko.”

“You were crying in your sleep, are you sure that you’re alright?”

“Did I wake you up?” It’s an unfounded worry, he’s never angry in the mornings but you can’t help but feel a twinge of anxiety at the thought of waking him.

“I was up all night.” He’s blushing. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“You know you should get more sleep, you never get any.” 

“You - you worry about my sleep schedule?”  _ Yes.  _

“Yes.” He’s much more agreeable when he’s had lots of sleep. “The Fire Nation needs their ruler to be well rested, Fire Lord.” It’s easier to call him by his title. It makes this situation seem more like you're forced to stay here.  _ It’s not a choice. Never was. (But you could’ve told Aang. Or Sokka or Toph or Katara. Spirits above Katara would’ve believed you for a time.) _

“D-don’t call me Fire Lord?” Spirits, he’s looking at anything but you. He squeaks out a small, “Please?” 

“Why not?” 

“Uhm. I - Uhh -” You’ve said something wrong. Zuko’s breath never comes out as smoke unless he’s angry. 

“I’m sor-” You rush to get the words out until they are taken by a warm arm that drags you into him as well. His chest is even warmer than his arm — and bare — as you uncomfortably try to arch your back and make his arm release your body. His mirth is audible as his second arm locks you even tighter into his chest.

“ _ It sounds so nice from your voice. _ ” He purrs into your ear. His hands rub circles into your stomach. “I can’t wait for tomorrow my love.” His breath tickles your ear and he feels warmer - almost searing - beneath you. He nips beneath your ear, teeth scraping your skin.

“Zuko!” 

“That’s right, say my name.” His nails dig into your thighs.

“Shouldn’t Suki, Katara and Toph be here by now?” 

“They can wait a little longer.” His hands are back on your hips, and creep inwards only to be dragged away quickly back to squeeze your hips. 

“Zuko-” 

“You sound so desperate for me.” His voice rasps lower.

“Zuko, they think that our wedding is today!” You feel his tongue slide up your neck before he responds.

“They’ll find out it isn’t.” His teeth graze at the wet flesh on your neck before he bites down and harshly sucks on the sensitive flesh. His lips curl against your neck as a whimper escapes from your throat.

“But- The whole nation-” He pulls his unbearably hot mouth from your neck and suddenly you realize his hands are pulling your thighs apart. You immediately try to push them back together, but his rough hands continue to pry.

“Your Uncle!” You gasp the words out, and kick your legs to get him off. “He thinks it starts today!” Zuko stops, takes a moment to think, and slowly, drags his hands (they had gotten so warm, so tight on your thighs.) from your body. 

“You’re right, we should uhh,” You can feel his embarrassment, but the room is still sweltering.

“Get dressed. Yeah.” You slide off of his body, ignoring the lingering touches he presses to your hands. You shakily laugh as you walk to the shared closet. Zuko laughs back as he lies in bed, watching you walk in your burned (is it even still there?) clothing.

“Sorry for.” He coughs. “Burning your clothes. I need to get better about that.” He searches for words as he speaks.

“It’d be very appreciated if you were.” You’ve put on the traditional red silks that look so similar to everything else you wear. Monotony is a part of life nowadays. 

“Zuko, how do I tie the sash?” You hear the rustling of blankets as Zuko quickly stands out of bed, he’s standing behind you, hands hovering over your hips again. 

“Just walk me through it?” You turn towards him and look up, eyes a little wider than normal. 

“I can do it for you quicker. We need to tell everyone it’s tomorrow.” 

“I’m going to be Fire Lady soon, shouldn’t I learn how to tie a sash, Zuko?” He looks down at you in disappointment. It doesn’t take you too long to figure out that you’ve said something without a smile. “Please?” Your heart is pounding as you take a hand into your fingers and start to toy with it. “Please Fire Lord?” You hope he’s not angry. He shouldn’t be, not when you hear his breath catch and watch his face ignite instead of the fabric in front of him. 

“Oh uhum sure.” He looks away from you. He must hear you giggle a little because even his ears turn red. “So uh, you know how to wrap the silk around you?” He’s fidgeting with his hands. “It’s pretty simple you just - wrap the left side to your lef- the right side! - Agni, I’m so stupid - you wrap the right side to your left side and then,” He’s pointing wildly, dragging his index finger through the air from his left shoulder to right hip. “Then you - uhh it’s the left to the right side.” 

“Thank you Zuko,” If you weren’t scared of a negative reaction, you might comment on how sure he sounded talking about the traditional ways to clothe yourself.

“I haven’t even told you how to tie the sash yet!” He raises his voice. It might be in distress, it might be anger. You're not sure if there’s really a difference. Immediately you move to touch his shoulder.

“I’m sorry to interrupt Zuko.” He nods at you slowly. His hands stop their frantic gestures, favoring trailing down your arms to align them correctly. 

“You uh, wrap the sash two or three times, tie it in the front. I’ll get the bow in the back.” 

“Thank you Zuko!” You grab at his hands once again, to pull them into your hair. He’s more agreeable when you initiate contact.

“I made you the Hairpin last night.” He rubs a stand of your hair between his fingers. “It’s pretty, like you.” A calloused finger traces your jawline as he plays with your hair before using both hands to gather it into a substantial topknot.

“I’m sure it’s beautiful Zuko,”

“It’ll look even better on you.” He walks in front of you. “I-” His smile is infectious. “I can’t wait to put it in your hair.” His eyes are alight as he looks into yours. He quickly wraps you into a tight embrace. “Thank you. I-I’m sorry that I scared you last night, I shouldn't have.”

“No, you protect me, and I know that. I shouldn't have tried to leave.” It isn’t even a lie. Zuko has protected you time and time again. From soldiers in the earth kingdom, from the siege of the Northern Water Tribe. And you should’ve known that leaving would make him angry. 

“I hope you do-” The Fire Lord’s voice is cut short.

“Zuko!” There’s a familiar voice behind your bedroom door.

“You’re dressed, right?” He’s right behind you. 

“You saw me get dressed Zuko.” You’re met with his bare chest as you turn.

“Oh uh, right.” His arm scratches at his neck.

“Sifu Hotm-” You’d recognize that cheery disposition anywhere.

“You can come in, Aang.” Zuko wraps an arm around you, once again trapping you against his chest.

“I’m here too Zuko!” Sokka lets out a huff as Aang gives his arm a pat. “Can’t believe you’d forget your best buddy, I’m hurt Zuko, truly, I am!” 

“Come on Sokka, you know Zuko wouldn’t actually forget you,” Aang stops his speech as his grey eyes look upon you and Zuko. “Woah.” It’s a breath that he sucks in and realization dawns on his face.  _ Did Aang know? He is the Avatar.  _ Sokka’s eyes dart to a corner of the room. 

“I didn’t realize-” Sokka whistles a little and turns around. You feel the clothes on your back heat up slightly as Zuko seems to grow frustrated. You press yourself further into his chest.

“It’s not- we haven’t- We just sleep together, alright!?”  _ Oh. So they didn’t know.  _

“Not helping your case there bud.” The amusement in Sokka’s voice is nostalgic as you think back to his and Suki’s banter. Their relationship always seemed so natural. At this point, maybe yours and Zuko’s was too.

“Yeah, Zuko…” Aang smiles sheepishly. “You might wanna put on-.”

“I always sleep without a shirt! And I always sleep with - y’know what? Forget it.” Zuko huffs out a sigh as he plays with your sash. 

“So, Zuko — what were you doing last night?” You can hear the eyebrow raise as Sokka speaks. “Before the first day of your wedding?”

“We’re having the first day of our wedding tomorrow.” You take Zuko’s arm in your hands and gently push against it. He releases you slowly. “I’m going to go find Katara, Toph and Suki. While the Fire Lord gets dressed would you two mind letting the palace staff know?” Once again, heat spikes after the use of his title. Your wrist feels a phantom pain.

“Know what?” Aang thinks for a little. “Oh! Right! Marriage, tomorrow. Gotcha.” He points at you, finger gunning you down to a smile. 

“Thanks Aang. Sokka, help Zuko out with whatever political debacle the Fire Nation,” You’ve gotten so used to saying the words casually that you disgust yourself. “Has today.” Your practiced smile doesn’t need to make the appearance you had thought you needed to schedule as a more genuine one creeps to your face. “I”m so happy to see you both again, Sokka, Aang.” You’ve gotten closer to both of them as you moved closer to the door. 

“Aww, we’re happy to see you too!” Aang holds out his arms with a boyish smile that he’d never outgrow. You walk into them in a moment dedicated to nostalgia. He still smells like lychee berry and bison fur. The hug is surprisingly pleasant before you hear a familiar, gruff voice.

“You’re going to be an excellent Fire Lady, already looking out for me, but Katara and Toph-”

“And Suki! Amazing, beautiful, talented, bad-ass, kick ass, gor-” Sokka continues even after Zuko attempts to cut him off.

“And Suki, are going to wonder why you’re late for wedding preparations.” He’s still shirtless as he pulls you from Aang’s hug. “We should try to get that sorted as quickly as we can, shouldn't we?” His chuckle reverberates in his chest.

“Of course Fire Lord.” It slips from your mouth before you truly think about your words. 

“Seriously, don’t call me that.” His voice might’ve been teasing. Chills wrack up your spine and you feel like the room is even hotter than it was. He leans into your ear, “I don’t know what I’ll do.” His voice is almost breathless as he gives you the threat. You shiver again.  _ Burn burn burn. He’s going to burn. _

Sokaa coughs.

“Uhh, I get you two are going to be married but if you could just.” Sokka’s face is in one of those classic, Aang-and-Katara-are-kissing-again-and-I-don’t-know-what-to-do-even-though-Suki-is-also-kissing-me-looks. “I don’t know? Tone it down a little,” And you must be flushed from the heat if he says that.

“Oh-Uh, yeah. Sorry Sokka.” Zuko takes three steps back from you. “Aang,” He dips into a bow towards the monk.

“Sifu Hotman.” Aang returns it with a traditional Fire Nation bow.

“If you’ll excuse me Fir- Zuko, I should go find the others and tell them it’s tomorrow, I’ll see you,” When will you see him again? Is it better to try and set your own parameters and risk his wrath, or to let him say when he wants to meet again? You dangle like a marionette on a string as you wait for your cue. 

“Tonight, for dinner.” Zuko’s lips quirk up, and he inches towards you once again. He places a gentle kiss to the top of your head, and knocks his forehead against yours. 

“I’ll always be with you, my love.” And you aren’t afraid of that. 

“Of course Zuko.” Your palm cups his cheek. He loves affection, and you love it too. Now. And before anyone else can speak.  _ Spirit world knows you’d be here for years if Sokka and Zuko had anything to say.  _ You exit the room, closing large doors behind you as you set off to find the missing parts of your bridal party. 

It’s a very simple task when Toph is a part of it. 

“So when’s Katara -Two getting here, huh?” The loud voice of Toph is accompanied by a large thumping sound. 

“Katara Tw- Katara -Two!? I see that I'm replaceable to you, Toph!” It’s a good natured banter between earth and water.

“Relax Sugar Queen. I only call her that cause she calms Zuko down like you calmed Aang down in the desert.”

“That’s actually really sweet of you Toph” You can see the earthbender’s anticipation without your eyes. 

“She’ll be a better Mother thou-” You hear the grin and feel Katara’s mock rage from outside the thick, wooden door. Your hand is frozen over the handle. _ Zuko loves you, you love Zuko. If you didn’t, you would’ve told someone by now. _

“You two, no bickering before she gets here,” A calmer voice, loud enough to be heard over the other two. 

“Thank you, Suki! For being the only rational and calm person here. I’m glad your dating my Brother instead of-”

“We should do this when everyone’s here.” Suki giggles with mischievous laughter she must’ve gotten from Sokka.

“Really, am I the only mature one around here?” Silence falls for a few seconds before Katara starts once again. “Now where is she?” There's some indistinct chattering from the other side of the door that isn’t loud enough to catch.

“-Late for her wedding? I’ve gotta have a few words with Sunshine.” Toph’s cackle is loud enough that you’re sure it’s heard far down the hall. And with this noise, you enter the room you escaped from  _ — would've escaped from had Zuko’s flame not been with you.  _

“I’m here to tell you all that our wedding has been moved to tomorrow. Today is for planning now.” You're surprised none of them look startled by the information that should be new. 

“Sweet, I get to think of all the stupid shit I get to make those dunderheads do!” The pale film over Toph’s green eyes glints with a menace that anyone who had come in contact with Toph was familiar with.

“Zuko better be ready to admit that he burned all those pictures on Ember Island because he didn’t want us to see baby Zuko.” Katara is standing with a satisfied smirk on her face.

“I’m going to make them all ride the Unagi.” Suki smiles to herself, and Katara’s smirk widens as she clearly knows what this “Unagi” is.

“They do still have to pay us, right?” Toph gives your arm a light punch to catch your attention. 

“That’s still part of the ceremony, as far as I know.”

“So why aren’t you getting into your dress?” Katara’s brow raises in a manner that is very similar to her brother’s. 

“The wedding is tomorrow,” It occurs to you, that your bride’s maids were picked by Zuko. Not you. Katara seems not to have heard your earlier message as she looks at you quizzically. “Zuko and I wanted to-” She cuts you off with a swift recovery, face changing from confused to kind

“You don’t need to explain, just explain what you’d like to prepare for tomorrow.”

“We don’t need to know why, just tell us what you need today.” Suki nods in affirmation.

“Assuming-”  __ Assuming a lot of things actually. “That Aang hasn’t already told the staff that we’re getting married tomorrow, we should start on that.” 

“Yeah, sure! I’ll get to it.” Suki exits the room swiftly.

“Anything else, you want us to do?” 

“Yes, Katara could you check on the dinner? We’re all going to be eating together tonight. Zuko likes spicy foods — can you tell the cook to prepare komodo chicken? Oh, and some roast duck - not turtleduck - for his Uncle?” You hope there’s more of a menu in the kitchen. Nothing tastes like food anymore. “Whatever else the cooks prepare should be fine.”

“On it!” Katara sends her brilliant smile in your direction, before exiting the room, leaving you with Toph.

“You two are really gross, y’know that?” Toph’s playing with her arm band, molding it into different things she’s felt. You guess it is a little gross how Zuko needs you to sit in his lap at meetings.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, your guys’ heartbeats go batshit when you two are in a room together. And I even thought you were scared of him at first, but,” And Toph stops playing with her piece of meteor to change topics. “Tell me a lie. A really shitty, stupid lie.” She blinks at you, grin on her face, as you think. Your gaze lingers on her black hair before she breaks your line of sight with a jerky head movement up. “Oh c'mon Moonshine, just a little thing I do with all my friends. Give me your least favorite color and tell me it’s your favorite or something, make some ostrichhorse crap story! Get creative!”

“My favorite color is red.” 

“See Moonshine, not so hard now, was it? Now give me a cold, hard fact.” 

“Why?”

“You’ve got nothing to do till tonight right?” Toph is right, you have nothing to do or keep in mind without Zuko here.

“Right.”

“This is as good a game as any to pass the time.”

“I can’t remember any of my hobbies before Zuko.” Did you even have any? You were living alone, surely you must’ve done something other than saving a certain scarred man. Apparently not. Now you have no hobbies, even if you had them before, they’re irrelevant now. Toph lets out a low whistle.

“Well you’re not a good liar but you’ve gotta really love Sunshine if you can’t remember any hobbies before him.” 

“Of course I love Zuko, I’m marrying him!” You regret your impulsive words (branded into your mind, scalding in your blood.) immediately. You were playing a game with a walking lie detector and you outright lie? If Toph notices, she chooses not to say it. 

“Hey,” She raises her hands in defense. “I never said you didn’t, in fact I was implying that you loved him a lot but hey, if you wanna profess your love again, who am I to stop you?” Toph yawns as she finishes her sentence. 

“I’m tired from traveling cross-nation. Gonna get some sleep, okay?” Toph doesn’t wait for a response as she falls onto the floor and emits her astoundingly loud snores. You follow suit, your sleep was not easy this morning, and chances are, you want to be well rested for dinner. You check the room for a single candle, and when you do not find one, pass out onto the bed. It’s soft, comfortable,  _ safe _ . And you are alone, for a second or two, you are alone like you were in your clearing full of badgerfrogs and rain. A soft voice echoes through your mind.  _ You’d forgotten what your mother sounded like.  _ (She burned a long time ago, before you met the man you would call husband) she’s calling to you, to let yourself relax, and you fall into her arms. She doesn’t stroke your hair, she doesn’t hold you, she  _ does not burn _ . She smells like apples and jook, and the stale pale glow of moonlight. Her touch is wonderfully chilled and her face is unmarred by fire. And for the first time in years, you hear the soft patter on grass, the raspy croak of a toad or frog. The light of Agni (before, it was just called the suni) filters through cracks in the roof and your mother whispers softly to no one in particular. Strands of willowplucked hair cascade down onto your cheek. 

_ “Don’t kill my daughter, please!" _

  
  



	3. Cabin fever is settin in? (Could you use a little pick me up?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love Toph,,, a lot. I also Love Azula,,, a lot. Also Suki,,, and Katara thought that doesn't show as well. I just,,, love the girls in this show okay?

Too soon do you wake, and through a warm haze of fog and spices, you are dressed in heavy, cinnabar silk, threaded with thick, bright gold and hair done up in a topknot. _ You can’t do your own hair.  _

“Do you want make-up done? It’ll be good practice for tomorrow!” Suki sing-songs to you as you’re getting dressed. 

“Would Zuko like that?” It’s something not really meant to be heard, only to contemplate.

“I think Zuko would like just about anything you do!” Katara says without knowing how you got the scar on your wrist. Maybe he does now. He does love you. He screamed you the words before whispering them. 

“You're right. No make-up for tonight then?” You nod to Suki as you gaze into the mirror. Dark red clothing bounces back into your eyes as you stare at your face. You still don’t look complete, even with the topknot you had been missing last night.

“Awwww” Suki smiles and playfully pats your hair. “You look beautiful! You’re going to be an excellent Fire Lady.”

“I don’t know what ya’ll are yapping about, but I’m ready to eat,” Toph is still in her comfortable layer of mud and dirt, hands behind her head. As the door closes behind you and step through the walls lined with candles the smell of spices grows stronger and the absence of comfortable warmth is almost agonizing as Suki keeps a hand on your shoulder.

“You seem a little bit nervous, I would too, it’s the night before your wedding, but I'm right here, okay?” She smiles at you with her eyes, candlelight reflecting off of them. 

“Thank you Suki, I’m glad you are here, all of you.” And like earlier that day, you take a quick moment to appreciate the people who might be your friends only because you knew -  _ loved _ \- Zuko, but were still your friends. You return Suki’s kind gaze with another one of your smiles, and turn with open arms which Suki is stopped from returning by Katara.

“Hey, no hugging right now, we’re going to be late for dinner, hugs tomorrow!”

“Aww c'mon Sugar queen, thought you were all for the sentimental shit?” Toph was teasing Katara again and you actually laugh a little, before realizing, this isn't something Zuko was saying.

“Not when it comes to the dinner before a wedding, we shouldn’t be late, imagine how worried Zuko is getting!” And she pushes against Suki’s back to get her moving. She just needs to outstretch her arm before you're already moving. Once again you walk down the wooden floors, hearing each perfect board creak and creak even though they don’t. You suck in a breath as big as the door to the dining hall, tensing immediately as Suki’s hand settles on your shoulder. And Toph kicks open the door to open on Zuko, Sokka, Aang and Iroh.

“Hello, Uncle!” You smile at the kindly old man kneeling at the head of the table.

“Ah! You are as beautiful as a Fire Lily in bloom!” The wrinkles in Iroh’s face crinkle upwards in affection. “Come, sit! We are drinking tea, it’s jasmine. Zuko says it is your favorite.” Zuko is blushing by the time he stands up to accompany you to your seat at the right of Iroh. He must take notice of Suki’s hand on you because he starts to walk a little faster and all but yanks you from her touch. 

“Well, someone’s impatient!” Sokka quips at Zuko’s quick extraction of you.

“You know, when I was getting married I could hardly keep my hands away from my beloved Checheng!” Uncle laughs in that loud way of his and Zuko retracts his hand from your shoulder.

“Uncle-” Zuko buries his face in his hands. “Please-” 

“We were quite in love, many a longing look I cast my beloved’s way and she returned with a fierc-”

“Uncle!” Zuko’s ears are red again. “We - uh, I don’t,” He sputters out and plants his face in his hands once more.

“Speak for yourself Sparky, it’s fun to feel your heart spazz out like that. I know exactly what you’re thinking.” Toph looks directly at Zuko, cheekily grins and sips a cup of tea.

“I see we’re humbling the Fire Lord tonight?” Katara turns her tea to ice before reverting it and drinking. Zuko’s ears are still red. Whether in embarrassment or anger is hard to tell.  _ He had yelled at his Uncle. _

“Zuko is plenty humble, I think,” You wrap your arms around his bicep. He tenses at your touch, just barely and brings you down to sit next to him while removing your hold on him.

“He is a pretty good guy once you get to know him!” Aang is playing with his marbles of air.

“Yeah,” Sokka starts, “If you don’t count his bragging about swords!”

“You two,” Toph is already laughing, “Brag about your  _ swords _ ? You can’t possibly-”

“They’re real swords Toph, the metal kind? The metalbend it all you want kind? The swords specifically made of metal? Metal swords?” 

“Oh I bet Moonshine here could bend Zuko’s ‘sword’ all she wanted to!” It’s a full on cackle now. “If that’s what you two are calling dic-” Before you interrupt because you’re sure even Sokka can feel Zuko’s heart beating out of his chest Katara saves dinner not for the first time.

“We are here to celebrate a wedding?” Katara is clearly uncomfortable, and you are very glad she’s so susceptible to second-hand embarrassment. 

“Oh! When Kuzon and I were younger, we attended his brothers’ wedding dinner and they did this thing with bone marrow, and it was something about the hidden strength and passion in your bones, and-” Aang’s helping hand which cures the uncomfort on Kataras’ face, is hushed by Zuko’s gravel as he chuckles and pours himself another cup of tea.

“We still do that Aang, it’s a pretty common practice, at least among noble families.” Zuko seems to have made a swift recovery from his red-as-tomato-peaches state. 

“Really? I’m glad you still do it! It's nice to know some things never change!” Zuko freezes at the words and you lean into his side again.

“So, when are we going to eat Zuko?” You lace Zuko’s fingers in your own, feeling the rough burn-calloused hands against yours.

“I can go get the cook for you, would you-”

“Don’t leave me Suki! Toph doesn’t understand what real swords areeeee” Sokka’s feigned tears get a pity look from Suki and you long, with every fiber in your being to have what they do. 

“That would be great, thank you Suki!” You blink in appreciation.

“Of course! I’ll be back Sokka - don’t you worry!” The two of you share a smile and she leaves the room through a small backdoor located behind a pillar. Zuko’s grip on your hand tightens once she’s gone.

“I can’t wait to see what you’ve decided on for dinner, you’re going to be an excellent Fire Lady.” 

“You keep saying that, are you really sure I'm the best choice Zuko?” It’s disgusting to think you actually care about your captor. Worse to think you actually  _ are  _ worried for the nation that was complicit with genocide.  _ But Zuko wasn’t. Isn’t _ . And that thought makes your empty stomach churn.

“How could you think that about yourself? You’re kind and good and my people will love you.”

“But I-”  _ You ran away _ Zuko’s eyes flash with a knowing intensity. “I’m not even from here, it’s not traditional-” 

“Hey hey, it’s alri-” Zuko gets cut off by one of the other five people you had forgotten were here.

“A lot of nations need to be “less traditional” nowadays. It’s good for the Fire Nation to change a little.” Katara 

“If tradition is what made Sozin start a war, and made his son and my father continue it, we need to get rid of some traditions.”

“And having a new Fire Lady has gotta be a step in the right direction! Especially if it’s someone from outside of the Fire Nation, that’s gotta be a great political advance? If we’re going to ha-“ Sokka gets cut off by an over eager avatar.

“So what traditions are you getting rid of? Kuzon said there were traditions for everything one hundred years ago, like when you planted a tree you always burned the first leaf it sprouted for Agni, or when you-”

“I’m just going to reform most of the laws Ozai made, as well as Sozin and Azulon.” 

“A wise decision my Nephew, their rules have thrown much more than the world out of balance.” Iroh seems to be preparing himself for a long story before you speak up.

“So how much of this will I have to know as Fire Lady?” Zuko’s gaze immediately turns to you and he pulls you a little closer.

“I’ll be sure to tell you everything you might need to know.” Zuko nods his assurances at you.

Before you can reply the sweet scents of food you had ordered earlier waft through the door as the palace staff floods the hall led by a triumphant Suki who winks at the table. Sokka is already singing her praises as food is placed high on the table. 

“The bone marrow,” A handmaiden bows with a platter in her hands, a single bone sits on top, quieting your dinner entourage.

“That will be all for tonight, thank you!” You had perfected those words years ago, when you first came here. 

“Of course,” She bows once more, and exits the doors that were being held open by two other staff members.

The platter now lays in Zuko’s hands as he places it on the table. He takes the bone in his big hands and a sickening  _ crunch _ resounds through the room. He goes first, (You’ve been told by Zuko, there are two ways that this can go about. You both suck the marrow out, or one sucks it out and shares.) using a spoon that must’ve come with the platter, to scoop at the insides of bone. It looks less than appetizing on the metal utensil. Zuko eats it anyways. Even knowing what is going to happen, you expect the spoon and half bone to be passed to you. You aren’t surprised when Zuko turns towards you instead, leans forward and presses your lips together. As soon as they slot together, you open your mouth for the sweet, buttery taste of marrow to enter your mouth. You hear Zuko try not to make sound as he takes a bit of marrow for himself before breaking the kiss. Butter with a hint of turmeric and black pepper slide down your throat as you see Zuko’s happy grin. 

“I’m so glad I didn’t see that.”

“Toph!” Katara scoffs. “It’s sweet!”

“It’s a little much, but Zuko’s always been a little dramatic.” Sokka shrugs.

“I am not!” He’s gone red again and you can’t help but giggle at his face.

“Sure, monologue man.” Sokka looks longingly at the komodo chicken. “Can we eat now?” 

“Of course, please, eat!” But you aren’t hungry. Your kiss, the first of many, had filled your lungs with the uncomfortable knowledge that this was happening.  _ And you are complicit. You will never stop being complicit. _

“Are you alright?” You flinch when his hand hits your shoulder. 

“Y-yes. I’m fine Zuko, why wouldn’t I be.” Toph is glaring at you from her seat at the table.

“Do you want to talk?” His voice is so soft. What you know is coming can’t possibly come from his dulcet tones. Not knowing what else could be coming, you nod. 

“Enjoy the rest of dinner, please - don’t wait for us, we’ll eat in our chambers.” Zuko takes your wrist and you’re acutely aware of how used to his hands you should’ve been by now. 

“Let us know if either of you need anything!” Katara’s face is so worried as she looks between you two. Iroh stands as if to follow before Zuko bows and you follow his lead. He’s walking you out of the door and the crown that sits upon his head glints in the candlelight. 

“I’m sorry Zuko - we can just go bac-”

“No, we’re going to stay here and talk about whatever is bothering you.” He’s too calm. It isn’t right.

“Nothings bot-”

“We’re going back to our room and we’re talking through this.” 

“Zuko, it’s nothing.” 

“Stop lying!” It’s almost a roar. “Please,” His voice is hoarse, “Just talk to me.” He’s set on dragging the truth from your mouth.

“I just-” His golden eyes look on you expectantly. “I can’t wait for tomorrow!” You spit the words out excitedly and his irises widen before he speaks. 

“Please don’t be lying.” He runs his thumb over the back of your hand. “I couldn’t take you lying to me.” You know he couldn’t. Zuko can’t handle a lot of things.

“I could never lie to you Zuko,” Your hands move to cup his face, tilting it towards you. “I’m going to go to my room to try and make tomorrow come a little faster, okay?”

“I uh-” He wraps his arm around your shoulder. “I’ll send Toph to come take care of you tonight.”

“Wouldn’t Suki or Katara-” At the mention of Suki, Zuko tenses, balling a hand into a white knuckled fist.

“It’s going to be Toph. She can take good care of you.” 

“Okay, I’ll stay in my room. Goodnight Zuko.” You look behind you, to where the large door you’ve seen thrice now looms. 

“Goodnight. I can’t wait for tomorrow, we’re-” His smile truly is a parasite. “I can’t believe I’m going to be married to you.” His muscles soften as he leaves you with one last glance. 

You wait until he’s disappeared before moving, around the corner, away from your door’s room. Guards have not been stationed near your door and you’ll take any opportunity to escape. But it’s even more short lived than lasts nights as a familiar, boisterous voice calls.

“Hey! Moonshine! The hell are you going?” You freeze on spot, you can't lie yourself out of this one. 

“I wanted some fresh air.” 

“I’ll walk you outside, Sparky is real worried about you being alone.”

“I know.” You nod at her unseeing eyes.

“You sound a lot like me when I lived with my parents.” Through the left wing, down the stairs into the imperial garden. “You always have.”

“What did you sound like when you lived with your parents?” 

“Oh, I don’t know, a lot like you do now?” If the way Toph is grinning is any indication, you indeed fell for something she anticipated. She shakes away her grin before more solemnly, “Your heartbeat spiked when Zuko asked if you were alright. You really are scared of this wedding, aren’t you.” She stomps the ground and creates a stool from rock to sit on. “Well, you got nothing to worry about, Zuko really is a great guy - you’d know that already though. You’ve lived with him for what, three-”

“Five years. I’ve lived with him in this palace for five years.” And you’ll spend the rest of your life here too.

“He’s a little bit of a dick sometimes, but he’s normally just headstrong. And it’s not like you can’t deal with me!” She barks out a laugh at that. But Toph hasn’t burned you, doesn’t yell when you go somewhere without telling him, doesn’t burn things when you’re mere paces away. 

“Yeah. We should go back inside, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Hey, Moonshine - if you’re not up for any of this, let Zuko know. He’ll understand. He just wants to make you happy, y’know?”

“I know.”

“So cheer up! We’re going to get paid for telling them to do stupid shit, and then we’re going to eat and just maybe, we’ll give you gifts.” She’s grinning up at you.

“Thank you Toph, should we just go to sleep?”

“I’m good with anything,” There’s a stillness in the air as no one speaks and the crescent moon shines down on silvery water. You look at Toph. She stares at nothing. No one wants to speak, yet you feel there are unsaid words. You start back towards the stairs to the left wing when she tugs at your sleeve. 

“Zuko’s like my brother, y’know?”

“I know.” They’ve always been close - somehow. Probably a rich kid thing. 

“He really cares for you - can’t stop talking about you when you aren’t there.” When are you not with Zuko? Toph punches your arm, lightly. “You’re gonna be a great sister. But if you don’t wanna go through with this wedding, I’m sure he’ll bring out some old rule to let you be his concubine or whatever weird-ass thing the Fire Nation might’ve had years ago.” 

“He would, yeah.”

“Hey, I’m not great with mushy stuff but if you need someone to listen I can-” They might be close but he’d never want you talking about anything personal with anyone but him.

“Thank you Toph. If I ever need to,” If you’re allowed to - “I’ll talk to you. It’s very kind of you.”

“I recognize that tone of voice anywhere, I’ll twist Zuko’s arm to get you outta Fire Lady duties if I have too. I swear, if you’re kept in this palace for more than a week I’m sneaking you out.”

“No!” 

“Why not? You always sound like you're talking to Koh. You should live it up a little.”

“I - like the palace okay?” But you both know it’s a lie. 

“Sure you do.”

“I just - I don’t like being away from Zuko for too long.” 

“Yeah yeah, don’t go into the mushy details, I’ll just bully him to let you out with me alright? Sweetness’ll dress you up in something less red and we can -” Even Toph knew you were wearing red. She can’t see. Zuko’s hold was as defining as Aang’s tattoos. 

“No, I’ll just stay here.” 

“If ya say so.” She shrugs indifferently.

“Thank you Toph. We should go inside now, I should be getting my rest for tomorrow.” And you climb the stairs back into the palace. Toph follows you with a huff and a few choice words. The hallways have gained the guards that were probably told by Zuko to be stationed here mere seconds after you told him you were going to sleep. No escape now. They nod at you as you pass, some more reverently than others, Toph walks a little behind you, getting similar treatment. You do not have to open the large door that you only dread for a second before stepping through with a small “Thank you.” The doors only close after a master earthbender enters behind you. It is not a dark room and there is a candle burning with colored flames. 

“Toph-”

“Yeah Moonshine?”

“Can you sleep with me?” You’re so used to someone. 

“That’s inappropriate as hell, I’m down for it.” She chortles as she begins to play with her arm band once more.

“You know what I meant Toph.”

“You coulda worded it a hell of a lot better though.” If Zuko had heard you saying that...

“I’m just used to Zuko’s warmth.” His uncomfortable heat.

“Damn you’re lucky. I was the only one he let snuggle back in the day.” Toph sighs in nostalgia. “Course you’d know all about that. I miss my Zuko cuddles.” 

“A normal blanket is almost cold now.” You wish they were still comforting, but blankets are flammable when you aren’t with Zuko.  _ They’re more flammable when you are. _

“Yeah yeah, you can cuddle me. It’s my wedding gift okay? You’ll get no gold from the Bei-Fongs’ alright?” She’s being soft today, it’s like Zuko told her to be. 

“Thank you Toph.” She’s climbing into the bed, on top of the sheets and covers. 

“Just so you know, I’m only doing this cause you’re going to be my almost sister.” She’s blushing as she lays her head on the pillow. You smile at her annoyed huff.

“Just get in the stupid bed.”

“Okay.” You quickly change out of the silk robe you’d donned for dinner and into a thinner piece of white material. “Do you want under the covers, Toph?” 

“No.”

“Okay. Goodnight.” And you close your eyes, wrapping your arms around the smaller woman. Before you drift off into sleep, you think you hear a small “Goodnight…” From the girl your arms are wrapped around. Tomorrow wouldn’t be so bad.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now expect for this to be updated like,,,, three weeks from now or something

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh yepyepyep. I love Zuko though he is, a mess.... thank ya'll for readinggggggg i have the next couple of chapters in the works, they'll all come out later today prolly but i haven't worked out the end.


End file.
